TITLE:                       THE NATURE OF LESSONS LEARNED PART 2: BEGINNING

AUTHOR:                 SEARINGIDOLATRY

FEEDBACK:            YES PLEASE! SEARINGIDOLATRY@BOLT.COM

SPOILERS:              SEASON 6, EPISODE 16 (X/A WEDDING EPISODE)

COMMENTS:           FROM XANDERS PERSPECTIVE - BASED ON RUMOURS/SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 16

 

Waking up alone in a sleazy hotel room has never been high on my ‘To Do’ list.  Walking out on my bride-to-be during our Wedding Day wasn’t top of my priorities either.   But I knew, I knew why I walked and maybe it didn’t have half as much to do with the demon’s meddling as I pretended it did.  I was waking up to a lot more than bad décor, faded stained sheets and carpet the colour of mulch that morning.

 

I had been waiting for an excuse, any excuse that would make me seem a little less like the Bad Guy when I said “Sorry honey, this is going too fast for my liking, lets slow this down a touch”.  Lets be honest, I really wanted to say “Sorry honey, its over”, but even I don’t have the nerve to say that to a vengeance demon…ex or otherwise.  Did I love her?  Yes.  Enough to spend the rest of my life with her?  No.  Forever is a long time, especially living on a Hellmouth.  There were some other issues, personal worries and traumas that I just didn’t feel comfortable sharing with her; and, as far as I was concerned, if you can’t share your innermost secrets with someone, you shouldn’t share your life with them either.

 

And yet, here I was, sharing them with Spike.  But I’m skipping ahead now, let’s go back, back to the scuzzy room.  I woke up. I wondered where I was.I remembered why I was where I was.  That’s a lot of thought for me first thing in the AM.  I made a positive decision to get the hell outta that room STAT.

 

I wandered aimlessly around town, soaking up the typically sunny Californian weather and trying to think as little as possible.  Normally this would be an easy task, but not today.  I sat down on a park bench, after all with the sun shining it looked a lot less threatening than usual, what with the distinct lack of nasties around.  And there I sat until I looked up and found that it had suddenly got kinda dark.  Upon checking my watch I found it had also ‘suddenly’ got late, how long had I been sat there?

 

I decided to get somewhere a bit safer than the local vamp snack park and headed towards the nearest bar - anything to avoid going home right now.  I got myself a beer (‘cause beer isn’t *always* bad) and resumed doing sweet F.A.  At least until Spike walked in.

 

“So whats your problem then?  The bint chuck you out, did she?  Can’t blame her” - Mr Sublety he ain’t.

 

 

To be continued…