SMASHED

by Leoff, posted at the Buffy Cross & Stake Spoiler Board

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Amy being burned at the stake for being a witch and turning into a rat. Willow casting first "forget" spell on Tara. Tara getting angry at Willow's magic use. Willow's promise not to use magic for a month. Willow casting the mass "forget" spell. Tara packing to leave. Spike approaching Warren to build the Buffybot. Warren, Andrew, and Jonathan teaming up to take over Sunnydale. Giles leaves for England. Spike wanting to talk to Buffy about the kiss. Buffy and Spike kissing at the Bronze.

In a dark alley, a couple is approached by two sinister figures.  They grab for her purse before Buffy quips from behind them.  She kicks one of the figures and he falls easily.  Wow, a good ol' fashioned mugging!  Buffy tells the couple to run while she starts to easily beat the two bad guys up before Spike comes jumping from above, bouncing off of one of the men and into a pile of crates.  He clutches his head in pain.  The two criminals run off while Buffy and Spike have words about his "helping" her, his no-hurt humans chip, and other barbs, before Spike asks if she'd like to jump right to the kissing?  She says she only kissed him once, but he reminds her it was twice! Spike brands her a tease as she slowly walks away.  He yells to her "It's only a matter of time before you realize there's no one else for you, pet!  You've got no one else!"

Willow looks in on an empty hall, missing Tara.  She walks in her bedroom over to Amy's cage and removes her, musing about how Amy must be lonely and might want a nice companion rat.  "I swear, if I could figure out how to turn you back…”  As she places Amy on the bed, She then gets a spark of an idea… "Reveal!" she casts as an old parchment appears out of nowhere on the desk beside her.  She reads the spell on the parchment (doesn't sound like Latin… more like Italian or similar language) and lights swirl around ratted Amy. Suddenly naked human Amy takes shape on the bed!  Willow smiles as Amy looks around in shock and screams!

Opening credits.

In a museum's main hallway, a black-clad figure is lowered on suspension wires from the ceiling.  It's Andrew, in cat burglar garb.  He lowers himself to a glass case, acting all stealth-like, before Warren and Jonathan come walking up, asking him what he's doing? Andrew was being careful about traps, but Warren reminds him that this is Sunnydale… "The security around here is a guy named Rusty." After taking a quick "spin" on the guidewires, Andrew releases them while Warren whips out a small blowtorch and burns a hole in the class case, allowing him to easily get what's inside: a HUGE, clear diamond. Phase 1 of "the plan" is complete, but as they start to go, they turn to face Rusty!  Rusty is… not too swift, asking them what they're doing there and telling them it's five hours since the last tour group.  Warren talks to the security guard, occasionally inserting the phrase "get the freeze ray" in the chat.  After a couple of hints, Jonathan and Andrew get the hint and turn, reaching in a sack to get something.  Warren stalls for a little more with Rusty, then Jonathan turns quickly and WHAM! A blast from a freeze ray hits Rusty, instantly turning him to ice! Warren thinks it's super cool, but Jonathan has a slight problem with the gun… it and his arm are completely encased in ice! The three "supervillians" leave Rusty frozen stiff.

Amy sits in the fetal position on a bed in the Summers home, now fully clothed, but still very scared. Willow walks in slowly, offering her some hot chocolate, which she refuses "still kinda queasy…" Amy hears a police siren out the open window and is startled. She casts a quick spell and the window slams shut, the curtains close. Willow calms her and asks how she's doing. Amy says nervously that she's ok, everything just feels "weird." "It was like I was in a cage for WEEKS!" Amy starts to settle herself down by saying she can get back into the swing of things, like getting ready for prom. She wonders if Larry will ask her? Willow sighs "Amy, three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay, Two, Larry's dead, and Three… high schools kinda over." "How long was I in the cage?" Amy demands… "HOW LONG?"

Buffy walks in her front door, calling for Willow. She goes upstairs to find Willow sitting on her bed. Buffy sits with Willow and asks if they can have a serious talk. She starts talking about Good choices and not-so good choices, then Buffy's surprised to see Amy walk in from the bathroom!

Buffy sounds surpised "Amy?"

Amy is still in shock-speech mode. "The whole school… by a giant snake." Willow nods yes. "Still adjusting… hey, Buffy."

"Hey… how you been?"

"Rat. You?"

"Dead."

"Uh huh."

Amy asks if they have any cookies (not cheese) and goes off to the kitchen to get them. Buffy asks Willow if Amy will be ok. Willow says yeah, she's just adjusting still, remarking that it's nice to have another magically inclined friend around. Willow asks Buffy what she wanted to talk about, but Buffy says it's not important, now with Amy back.

Downstairs, Amy sits happily in front of the television munching on cookies as Buffy walks up, asking if she can get her anything. Amy says no, she's good. Amy says she's sorry about Buffy's mom, which Buffy thanks her for. Amy says it's all so weird, so much to catch up with. "People getting frozen, Willow's dating girls, and did you hear about Tom and Nicole?" Buffy questions that first part. Amy turns on the TV again and the news comes across about Rusty.

TV cameras get shots of frozen Rusty getting moved out of the museum as Buffy walks nearby. She comes across Spike, hiding in the shadows. He says he was curious about the frozen guy, but both know he's there because Buffy would eventually show up. The sexual play-talk starts and Buffy then turns, apologizing to Spike for the kisses, saying they didn't really mean that much and that he shouldn't read into them. She chalks it up to missing Giles, feeling lonely. She turns and starts to walk away as Spike follows, saying that he has changed. He reaches for her, but she gets pissed, spins, and hits him a good right cross. HE gets pissed and does the same, sending her to the ground, but the reaction is unexpected! The chip doesn't go off, he's not in pain. Still, he fakes it and clutches his head and shouts OWWW! Buffy gets up and hits him to the ground, saying "you're a thing… an evil, disgusting thing." Spike sits there, stunned, but with a slight grin on his face.

Commercial break: Windex makes it SHINE!

Spike stands in the darkened streets of Sunnydale, looking at all the "goodies." In an ally, Spike confronts a lone woman who is instantly terrified. Spike builds up a big speech, saying he's a killer, he's ready to kill again. He puts on his game face and goes in for the bite… and is sent back reeling in pain! The woman escapes as Spike looks confused "What the HELL is going on?"

Tara watches Dawn drink a big milkshake… a REALLY big milkshake! They sit in the park, having just come from a movie.  "You know I'll always be there for you, don't you?”  Tara unexpectedly blurts out.  "There was more of a lead in when I practiced at home.”  Tara tells Dawn that she will always love her and that her moving out had nothing to do with her.  Dawn says she understands, and that Willow has been "better" with things lately, really trying.  They never say "magic use", but that's what they both mean.

At the Magic Box, Willow, Xander, and Buffy sit at a table reading about frozen Rusty getting de-thawed while Anya looks for a book that Giles took with him.  They are researching the possibility of some sort of "frost demon" that likes diamonds.  Buffy muses about Giles and wonders what the time difference is again. Willow offers to help, pulling out her iBook. Buffy and Xander look pleased that Willow is going back to basics, but then Willow's hands glow over the keyboard and she searches the computer's information within her mind, and this makes Buffy and Xander frown. Willow starts going through police reports about the diamond theft. The nothing special or magical about the diamond apparently. Xander still acts awkward about Willow's magic use, to which Anya finally speaks her mind openly, saying that they're all acting all weird around Willow because of Tara's leaving and she mentions Willow's frequent magic use. Willow says it's ok, that things with Tara just got blown out of proportion and the two had a disagreement. Willow then says she should be getting back to Amy, not wanting to leave her alone for too long.

The three supervillians stare at the diamond in their basement "lair." They say they've got to get ready for phase two before CRACK! The outer basement doors burst open and Spike comes marching in! (at this point, I'd just like to question how he could come in uninvited, unless of course it's WARREN's basement and the previous invite from his mom allows it.) Spike wants his chip examined to see what the heck is going on or he'll do some nasty stuff to them. The three think he's bluffing until he reaches over and grabs a small model a man. "Examine my chip or else Mr… Fett here is the first to die!" (yes, Spike is really evil, but come ON… not Boba Fett!) The three supergeeks panic, caving in to Spikes wishes upon threats of Spike breaking Boba Fett's neck, but also thinking that they might be able to get some info on Buffy in the process of helping him out.

Willow walks in to a panicked Amy, wondering where she was for so long. Willow asks about Amy wanting to see her Dad, but Amy doesn't wish to just yet… too many questions. Amy is bored and wants to have some fun, and starts to push Willow to get out and have fun! Willow agrees, and the two ladies march out.

Short scene of Warren scanning Spike's head for the chip.

Andrew, Jonathan, and Spike sit waiting. Andrew asks if Spike is English, then says he's seen every episode of Doctor Who, but not Red Dwarf, because it isn't out on DVD yet. Spike YELLS for Warren to get there now and Warren appears with a bunch of X-rays and papers. Warren says he doesn't know what the chip does, but whatever it is, it's working perfectly. All connections and such are fine. Spike thinks for a moment, then threatens Warren not to say a word to anyone about this. "Everything's different now… nothing wrong with me, something's wrong with her." Spike says as he exits the basement.

Tara and Dawn walk into an empty Summers house. They're playdate is over. Tara wants to get going so she won't run into "her" but Dawn uses the "oh, I'm so lonesome and it's dark out" routine to convince Tara to stay until Willow or someone gets back.

At the Bronze, Willow tells Amy about Xander’s engagement to Anya as the two play pool (without cues, using magic to hit the balls). Two hunky guys walk up and one whispers into Amy's ear. Amy says they're going to dance, unless Willow wants something more to her liking. Amy casts a spell on a nearby lady, who approaches Willow in a seductive manner. Willow is thrown and nervous, saying she's not interested, so Amy cancels the spell. Amy trots off to dance with the guys as Willow looks on, a bit sad.

Sitting at the bar, Amy approaches a downbeat Willow. Some small talk before the two hunks walk up, wondering why Amy stopped dancing, they were getting all worked up! Willow defends Amy, but one of the guys makes an "Ellen" gay crack. The two wicca's smile evilly, asking if the guys still want to dance? As streaks of colored light leave their hands, the wiccas both cast spells which make both the hunks dance all right… inside hanging cages, clothed only in underwear!

"Ah HA! I've found it!" Xander exclaims at the Magic Box! He thinks he's found their Frost demon, before Anya points out that he's looking at a Dungeons and Dragons manual. All three give up on trying to find the non-existent diamond loving frost demon. They wonder if Willow would have any input, then talk turns to Willow's excessive magic use. They all worry about Willow's new "taste" of power and say they should watch her and be concerned. The phone rings. Buffy picks up to hear Spike trying to talk in a menacing low voice. Spike tells Buffy to meet him at the cemetery later. She wonders if he has info on the frost demon, but after he gives a little sexual slang, she hangs up frustrated.

The three friends leave the Magic Box for the night. They bring up all the weird things that have been happening lately… the bank robbery… the jewellery heist… exploding lint… and instead of evil, it just seems… lame for Sunnydale. The three split up for the night.

Buffy walks down yet another dark alley as she of course bumps into Spike. He is acting odd towards her, getting in front of her, pushing her buttons. She tells him to get out of her way, but he asks "or else what?" She punches him, hard. He smiles to himself, then returns the punch, sending Buffy spinning. Mockingly, Spike says "Oh the pain! The pain! It's…. gone!" Buffy looks at him in horror, asking him how? Spike says that he found out that she came back… wrong.

Commercial Break: For all your wildfeed summaries, go to http://www.tbns.net/wildfeed/ or http://www.voygr.com/~dmitchell/vampire/, courtesy of… well, ME!

Buffy punches at Spike again and again, but Spike hits back, smiling. Buffy thinks it's a trick, thinking he did something to the chip, but Spike says he's normal, that she came back different, she's not fully human anymore. To prove his point, he hits her as he says this. Buffy doesn't want to believe him, saying "you're wrong." She pushes him into an abandon building and the fight continues.

At the Bronze, Willow and Amy smile from the catwalk as they start casting a flurry of spells, changing the band into all girls, Making one guy fly, another one shrink, a third grow, creating a bunch of sheep in the middle of the dance floor… Willow smiles as she casts spell after spell.

Buffy and Spike continue to exchange kicks and punches. Spike throws verbal jabs at her, saying she doesn't fit in, no one to love her, all alone. Buffy returns the jabs, saying he's not a human, not a vampire, where does he belong? The two throw each other here and there, knocking out walls and support beams.

Willow and Amy have had enough, growing tired of their fun, and they revert everything in the Bronze back to it's old self. "I keep thinking there's gotta be someplace bigger than this" Willow remarks. Amy smirks "well, its way too early to go home yet…"

Still at it, Spike says "I wasn't planning on hurting you… much" as he grabs Buffy by the collar. Buffy grabs him and throws him into a wall, which begins to shake and rumble. "You afraid I'm gonna…" Spike trails off. Buffy jumps forward and PLANTS a long, passionate, violent kiss on the vamp! As the room starts to crumble around them, Buffy throws him against another wall, out of the way from a falling beam, and they continue to kiss. Spike is holding her above him as we hear zippers being undone, and then… well, how to put this…

They do it.

They go at it, she goes up and down and… oh lord! Right there, up against a wall, with the room collapsing around them. It is mad, it is violent, it is passionate! Then at the height of, you know, they dive away from the wall and fall onto the ground, hard, and fall through the floor, landing on the next level below them. And they continue to grind and move with each other.

Grrr… arrg…

 

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